The Shape of the Cross

A reflection on Jesus' death: Why?

Today is Good Friday. While a short passage from our journey in John coinciding with Jesus’ death is below, you might also consider reading all the passion narratives. They make up almost 13% of the gospels, so it’s a lot. That alone is worth consideration: the importance of Jesus’ passion for the gospel writers. For comparison, resurrection passages make up less than 4% of the text. What does that convey to us?

Blessed Good Friday to you today. May the suffering and death of Christ be real to us as we seek to understand salvation.

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Allow me to get a bit more personal today than usual. I’ve been reflecting on the cross—its meaning and purpose for eternity, and for me. What I write below may or may not be meaningful for you. It may or may not apply to your experience. But these are my reflections on April 18, 2025.

As a child, teenager, and college student, the cross held tremendous power for me. Good Friday services were steeped in a mixture of the brutality of humanity, the horror of death, and the mystery of a God who would “give his son” to endure such things, somehow “for me.”

It did indeed convey a particular love of God that was powerful to my 6-year-old and 20-year-old selves. It was powerful to me in that it put me in my place, both as a participant in sinfulness as well as a recipient of his overwhelming love and great grace. That mystery still holds. It makes little human sense. That it makes little human sense is not to say I reject it, just that I accept its mystery as something I couldn’t possibly do myself.

But the shape of the cross has changed for me over the years. I still understand all of the above, but what happens with Jesus on the cross has shifted from something that is only salvific for me to something that is required of me. Indeed, I can hardly think of it else how these days.

I wear a cross around my neck each day. I stopped wearing gold and silver ones a long time ago as, for me, I find them to be contrary to the nature of the cross. Years ago, I took the congregation I was pastoring to worship with a church of the unhoused in Boston. That church shared together a beautifully-crafted, warped-shaped cross that one of the congregants artfully designed many years before. If you were a member, you received one of these crosses.

After the service, I asked one of the ministers about that practice - what does it look like for a member to receive it? Honestly, I was curious about the meaningfulness of the process. But instead of telling me about it, she had me kneel, took her own off, and placed it around my neck. She prayed over me, a blessing that I received as both joy and challenge.

From that point on, when I put that cross on each day, it’s weight hanging around my neck right over my heart, it has served as a particular call to me: to remember the Christ who walked, ate, healed, and died alongside those others would not.

Today, I have a different cross around my neck. This one is made from the barrel of a gun—melted down, reshaped, and formed into a rough-edged cross. It’s both ugly and beautiful. And it carries deep meaning for me.

The cross is not only salvific.
It is exemplary.

John 19:28-30

After this, knowing that everything was already completed, in order to fulfill the scripture, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar full of sour wine was nearby, so the soldiers soaked a sponge in it, placed it on a hyssop branch, and held it up to his lips. When he had received the sour wine, Jesus said, “It is completed.”

Bowing his head, he gave up his life.

Psalm 22:22-31

I will declare your name to my brothers and sisters; I will praise you in the very center of the congregation! All of you who revere the Lord—praise him! All of you who are Jacob’s descendants—honor him! All of you who are all Israel’s offspring—stand in awe of him! Because he didn’t despise or detest the suffering of the one who suffered—he didn’t hide his face from me. No, he listened when I cried out to him for help.

I offer praise in the great congregation because of you; I will fulfill my promises in the presence of those who honor God. Let all those who are suffering eat and be full! Let all who seek the Lord praise him! I pray your hearts live forever! Every part of the earth will remember and come back to the Lord; every family among all the nations will worship you. Because the right to rule belongs to the Lord, he rules all nations.
Indeed, all the earth’s powerful will worship him; all who are descending to the dust will kneel before him; my being also lives for him. Future descendants will serve him; generations to come will be told about my Lord. They will proclaim God’s righteousness to those not yet born, telling them what God has done.

Prayer¹

God,

Enlighten the darkness of my heart. Give me right faith, sure hope, and perfect compassion. Give me insight and wisdom, so I might always discern your holy and true will.

I pray you grant me two graces before I die:

The first, that I might feel in my soul and in my body, as much as possible, that sorrow which you endured, dear Jesus, in the hour of your most bitter passion.

The second, that I might feel in my heart as much as possible, the love that led you to endure the cross for the sinfulness of the world.

Lord, as I ask this that you might re-present it in me. Truly: I’m not looking for the glory, but for the purpose and the passion, that my life, even in death, might mean something for others.

By your Spirit, and in your mercy.
Amen.

1. Adapted from a prayer attributed to Francis of Assisi.