Proximity with Jesus vs. Solidarity with Christ
We too often look a lot like Peter.
This is a powerful scene. John really does set a stage differently than the other gospels. Jesus even seems a bit different here in John, more confident and perhaps even more willing to engage those questioning him in his arrest and trials. I suppose he could be called pacifist, but he certainly isn’t passive. He speaks clearly, but he is yet not aggressive or defensive. Just honest and truthful. We’ll see this again tomorrow in front of Pilate.
Peter’s placement and role here is a tragedy, Shakespearean, even. Who of us can’t identify with wanting to be close to Jesus, but uncertain of or hesitant in our commitment? It’s a too-well known phenomenon of the quest of faith. We want the benefit, but not the cost.1 Jesus is consistently assertive that the cost is a requirement of following him. It’s why he does end up on the cross (why he “allows” for it). The true reward is not simply proximity with Jesus, as like Peter watching closely in the courtyard. The true reward is solidarity with him in his suffering.
Tradition holds that Peter will come to know this solidarity.
John 18:15-27
Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus. Because this other disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest’s courtyard. However, Peter stood outside near the gate. Then the other disciple (the one known to the high priest) came out and spoke to the woman stationed at the gate, and she brought Peter in. The servant woman stationed at the gate asked Peter, “Aren’t you one of this man’s disciples?”
“I’m not,” he replied. The servants and the guards had made a fire because it was cold. They were standing around it, warming themselves. Peter joined them there, standing by the fire and warming himself.
Meanwhile, the chief priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and his teaching. Jesus answered, “I’ve spoken openly to the world. I’ve always taught in synagogues and in the temple, where all the Jews gather. I’ve said nothing in private. Why ask me? Ask those who heard what I told them. They know what I said.”
After Jesus spoke, one of the guards standing there slapped Jesus in the face. “Is that how you would answer the high priest?” he asked.
Jesus replied, “If I speak wrongly, testify about what was wrong. But if I speak correctly, why do you strike me?” Then Annas sent him, bound, to Caiaphas the high priest.
Meanwhile, Simon Peter was still standing with the guards, warming himself. They asked, “Aren’t you one of his disciples?”
Peter denied it, saying, “I’m not.”
A servant of the high priest, a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said to him, “Didn’t I see you in the garden with him?” Peter denied it again, and immediately a rooster crowed.
Prayer
God,
I want to be close to Jesus. But it seems so often today that the Church’s offering of closeness to Jesus is the warm feels of a worship song. I do enjoy that from time-to-time, God. But it doesn’t seem to be the solidarity Jesus modeled for me.
So help me to know closeness with Jesus in his sufferings. I am certainly not asking to be arrested, beaten, and crucified. But God, despite the privilege I possess of being able to avoid such things, bring me yet to an understanding of the crucified Lord.
I feel like the results of such proximity to the heart of Jesus will benefit my place as his disciple. Help me not just to want to help people who are suffering, but to stand/sit/lie beside them in it all. Move me from charity to compassion, from pity-from-a-distance to passion for their justice.
By your spirit & in Christ,
Amen.
If this resonates with you, you might appreciate reading about St. Bernard’s Degrees of Love (of God). Here is a short summary.