Jesus UnFocusing on the Family

Some tough words.

I once visited a church in Garden, CA just outside of Los Angeles. They don’t have a church building, but own four houses back-to-back in a tight-knit urban setting. I was fascinated, inspired, and ecclesiologically challenged by their commitment to their bond together in Christ. They don’t meet every Sunday, they live together every day. (In fact, on Sundays, they disperse to different churches to serve in various capacities.) Many practices within their daily and weekly rhythm challenged me. But perhaps no greater than their commitment to kids without parents. I don’t even know just how many were there, milling around, screaming and playing.

I was perhaps most taken back by a sit-down I had with one of the original community members, who was original to their founding (in the early 1970s). She told me about her own biological daughter, now an adult, who decided to leave the church community. It was sad to Barb, but her commitment to Christ and his community stood tall above all else. She shared about how many foster children she and her husband had raised in this church. And many of them were still a part of it.

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Jesus has harsher words in the gospels than those we are reading today, but it’s unlikely that there are words more surprising to the modern heart and mind. They are jarring, and that’s the point.

I’ve shared with you before the saying, “Water is thicker than blood.” It carries the notion that Christian baptism should hold more weight than blood relations. Whether you’re Roman Catholic or evangelical, you just don’t mess with the family unit.

Jesus is of course making a very strong point. His discipleship is second to nothing and no one. Deciding to follow him is no bullet on some kind of list of “Life To Do List.” You must sit down and figure out the cost if you’re going to do this Jesus thing.

It’s interesting that much of the evangelical church has spent the last few decades insisting on the priority of the family unit, “focusing on the family,” if you will. There is of course nothing wrong with strengthening the family. For most people, it’s the first and most immediate mission field, with more impact than any other context.

But it can be a detriment, and we may be seeing today just how much it can be. When protecting the family unit comes against protecting the greater community, we have to ask if it is of Jesus.

Jesus’ point is that anything - anything - can come in the way of following him. Mom, Dad, kid, brother, sister, aunt, uncle…anything, anyone. Some of you know this better than others. The toll you’ve taken from a family member or two has been huge and totally jaded your understanding of God. Maybe you’re still working on it.

The good news is that Jesus is always love. For you. He’s better than any mother, father, etc.

So don’t seek to hate your family. But there may be times when your perspective or understanding thereof needs some serious contemplation.

(By the way, it’s notable that one of the last things Jesus did as he suffered and died on the cross was to be sure his mother was taken care of. Maybe he forgot he said what’s in our passage today. Or maybe…he was hyperbolizing to make us think about it. The cost of discipleship.)

Luke 14:25-35

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus. Turning to them, he said, “Whoever comes to me and doesn’t hate father and mother, spouse and children, and brothers and sisters—yes, even one’s own life—cannot be my disciple. Whoever doesn’t carry their own cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

“If one of you wanted to build a tower, wouldn’t you first sit down and calculate the cost, to determine whether you have enough money to complete it? Otherwise, when you have laid the foundation but couldn’t finish the tower, all who see it will begin to belittle you. They will say, ‘Here’s the person who began construction and couldn’t complete it!’ Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down to consider whether his ten thousand soldiers could go up against the twenty thousand coming against him? And if he didn’t think he could win, he would send a representative to discuss terms of peace while his enemy was still a long way off. In the same way, none of you who are unwilling to give up all of your possessions can be my disciple.

“Salt is good. But if salt loses its flavor, how will it become salty again? It has no value, neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. People throw it away. Whoever has ears to hear should pay attention.”

Psalm 73:23-28

But I was still always with you!
You held my strong hand!
You have guided me with your advice;
later you will receive me with glory.
Do I have anyone else in heaven?
There’s nothing on earth I desire except you.
My body and my heart fail,
but God is my heart’s rock and my share forever.
Look! Those far from you die;
you annihilate all those who are unfaithful to you.
But me? It’s good for me to be near God.
I have taken my refuge in you, my Lord God,
so I can talk all about your works!

Prayer

God,

I don’t desire that anything come between you and me. And I’m all in on Jesus.

So show me the ways in which I may be missing out. But also help me avoid religiosity and pompous piety. Remind me that Christ shares in my humanity, desires the companionship of people, and favors a good time.

Keep me sane according to your beautiful image within.

By your Spirit & in Christ,
Amen.